Ah, love! If everyone dreams about it, how many experience it? The fact is, Love has a reputation for being dangerous. It would make us impotent under the influence of the loved one. Freud, by the way, a great misogynist as most men of his time, judged it as such. “We are never as little protected against suffering as when we love”, he affirmed. In France, the song “les histoires d’amour finissent mal en général” by Rita Mitsouko was as successful as the power of this belief. The popular fascination with tragic love stories has never waned. The fame of Romeo and Juliet proves it. Finally, one could assume that the search for love is losing momentum in an era of unbridled sexual consumption. Yet a recent survey shows that 94% of Americans believe in true love. For their part, philosophers and scientists seek to define what love is.
Love is our physical and emotional nature
Obviously, love exists. We know it because we experience it as we form couples and affectionate relationships with our children. However, Love is much more than what we think. It constitutes actually our physical and emotional nature. Also, we are beings of love. Love is the Self, the emotional being that incarnates, and the substance, too, of this body that gives us form. Therefore, to possess love is to possess oneself and to free oneself from the lack (of Self) which prevents the full expression of the being. Thus, any attack on the energetic presence (emotions) or on the laws of Love (senses) deeply offends us. Love is not only a feeling of extraordinary beauty. It is also a set of properties that we desire to possess and that we defend, rightly, as the most precious of treasures.
We can verify the relevance of this statement if we pay attention to the emotional energies that animate us. Are they joy or frustration, serenity or violence? In doing so, they reveal the state of the being of love which is the Self. For, of course, all emotions are born of Love, from the most constructive to the most destructive. Thus, hatred, the most devastating of emotions, expresses the extreme pain of having been deprived of the Love of Self in cataclysmic proportions. For Love is the universal absolute, the law of the Whole and its parts. Its absence is a catastrophe that engenders ugliness, chaos, and absurdity. In other words, if we love ourselves, we also love others, and we build a rich and harmonious life. On the other hand, if one hates oneself, one also hates others, and one impoverishes and restricts oneself through the expression of suffering.
The ignorance of the truth about love
Often what is wrong with our approach to love is the misconception of what it is and means. We believe that love stands outside of us, in someone else, so that this other person would be the repository of our well-being. From then on, we live in the anxiety of rejection and loss of this essential. And we resent it terribly if she ever takes back a freedom that should never have been alienated by an incongruous promise. For who can promise to love always and at any price? Besides, to continue to want to love the other at one’s own expense is a disastrous posture that leads to resentment, even hatred.
Far from residing in someone else, Love stands in oneself since we are beings of love. It is therefore there, in the silence of the interiority that we must seek it and often reconstruct it in order to be able to live it. Because, if we possess it in totality at birth, we lose part of it during childhood under the grip of cultural pressure. We touch here on the distortion of values which vitiates, in various degrees, all the societies called modern. Even though not consciously, children are treated as raw material which must be humanized by the authoritative injonctions. In other words, nature, which takes root in the woman-mother, has no value. Worse, the current patriarchal ideology considers the Feminine as bad, and inferior. Consequently, this original stain must be washed off, even at the cost of great violence.
The structure of Love
But what is Love? I define it as the universal substance, the elementary brick of everything that exists in the universe(s), from the infinitely small to the infinitely large. This means that Love is the ultimate material, the energy at the origin of the universe of reality in which we evolve. Its properties are multiple and extraordinary. Love is also universal thought, the source of all the senses, and it builds us in two phases: one, affective or emotional, and the other, physical or material.
I have illustrated here the emotional structure that is the invisible part of every human being. Its substance is love, as long as the fears imposed by patriarchal ideology do not gnaw parts of it away. Moreover, it builds and contains the body, gives it life, and propagates the emotional wave. If the mind accepts feelings, then the brain receives the senses of Love. The latter then activates its intellectual processes according to these senses, initiating thought.
It also appears that this structure is the Feminine energy for each person, while the body is the Masculine energy.
The structure, called the emotional envelope, contains 4 main properties. When they are active – felt and expressed – they generate an experience of reality that conforms to the perfect beauty of Love: harmonious and fulfilling.
The properties of love
We distinguish between compassion, unity consciousness, the project of being, and the integrity of being. Each one produces a particular emotion that deposits a particular meaning in the brain.
- Compassion, from pure, unconditional Love. It makes us see the beauty of all beings, all things, the magnificence of the world, of nature, of the living and the non-living. It gives the ability to admire the perfection of the universal creation, one’s own and that of others. The desire to protect it and the desire to live and participate in the experience of life moving towards the ultimate goal: the experience of unconditional and universal Love.
- Its powerful feeling transcends physical limitations. It connects with the laws of Love, the one truth. Therefore, the distortions due to the anti-love nonsense propagated by the patriarchy are identified with extreme clarity. The desire to protect life and the beauty of beings and things is powerfully activated.
- Compassion fully felt deposits the primary meaning of Love: the awareness of human and universal unity. In this context where the fear of separation is abolished, the desire to exist in physical experience is total. It releases the determination to express the best of oneself, according to the defined plan of each incarnation (destiny). In order to accomplish this, the desire to safeguard emotional and physical integrity is realized through the assertion of boundaries that define respect for self and others (justice)
The emotional amputation of children
The properties of love are kept active by emotional expression and verbal affirmation. They disappear because of the prohibition of showing them and claiming them. The process of emotional amputation of children is globally widespread in almost all human societies, with some exceptions. However, the intensity of its demand varies a lot, depending on the intensity of the local patriarchal hatred towards the Feminine.
This crushing of a part of self-love comes out of relatives’ exigence. The patriarchal father, the one who believes in the patriarchal ideology, is, in particular, the depositary of this mission. This mission rallies the approval of the male-dominated community, and the family, at the expense of women’s point of view. Obviously, the patriarchal father is convinced of the validity of his approach. He was contaminated by this ideology at a young age. He believes that the Feminine is evil and that it is important to root it out of his son and crush it in his daughter. Therefore, boys resolve to deny the expression of their sensibility, while girls tend to adopt a low profile.
Lacks and needs
Why do we give in? Since we are beings of love, we desire, if not to be loved, at least to be accepted by our family. As a result, we submit ourselves to the conditions of this acceptance which differ for boys and girls. This depletion of the Self prevents the power of the mothers to blossom. Thus we lose the expertise of the Feminine that women normally possess. The boys are enjoined to inhibit the expression of their sensitivity, in particular, compassion bringing tears of Love. The girls are enjoined to efface themselves, on the grounds of the suspicion of a nuisance that the patriarchy carries up. Therefore, anger and affirmation of their personality bring violent responses to them.
Losses of self-love rooted in children through the threat of violence from the patriarchal father who allows himself to punish what he considers bad. The backlash of contempt, the threat of rejection, insults, bullying, guilt, and shame aim to discourage the child who contravenes the patriarchal injunctions. The child understands quite quickly that if he or she does not comply, he or she will face rejection from his or her relatives. This punishment can take the form of assumed disapproval, latent discontent, or a creeping aggressiveness. It can worsen into banishment, as is the case for homosexuals in many countries. The last, an extreme degree of violence can also happen. Death is the faith of girls who refuse the ideological diktat in certain countries such as Jordan or Turkey.
We cannot escape the truth
Once accepted by the children, patriarchal fears create voids in the substance of Love of the emotional envelopes. The result is a lack that pushes the child to look outside for compensations that are only lures. Let’s mention adrenaline, pleasure at all costs, artificial paradises, the destructive madness of the ego, domination, and the vampirization of others. All these harmful behaviors do not fulfill the needs of the Self that torment people. They only accentuate them. Action is also an expression of being that carries meaning. When it expresses fear/hate of oneself and others, it registers new voids in the emotional envelope.
Whatever we do, we are nevertheless beings of love. We cannot escape the recognition of this state which is our ideal and our truth. Unfortunately, this evidence is refuted by the directors of the official thought of this time. They prefer, at all costs, to cling to the patriarchal model of a human existence limited to the matter of the body. Ignoring what appears to be the Law of Life is the reason why humanity is ravaging the planet. The time to revise concepts and ideology seems to have come!